Table of Contents
We have a Plan
A previous post ‘The Student Life’ covered my brief career in the entertainment industry – actually as a roadie for my student mate, Steve, who, following singing in a band had become a DJ. He had all the gear and an agent and working regularly.
We did a few memorable gigs – warm up for a band called Sweet – who had hits in the 1960s and were flown into the venue by helicopter, did about 40 minutes live and then flown to the next gig of three that night. Grab it while you can.
But the most memorable, for all the wrong reasons, was Rawtenstall Annual Fair.
An actual event that had its origins in a music hall song written in the 1930s by two performers, John Roberts and Tony Barrand, which remained popular for many years – in Rawtenstall, that is!
The lyrics might tell you all you need to know about Rawtenstall.
The Rawtenstall Annual Fair
Down behind the gasworks, down in Rawtenstall,
That’s a little town in Lancashire.
Last Saturday night, me and the lads,
Ee by gum we had some reet good cheer.
There was ice creams, switch backs, soda pops, and waxworks,
Figure eights and roundabouts,
We all paid a tanner, and we went in,
And weren’t we all delighted when we heard the showman shout:
“Oh, roll up, roll up, come and see the fat girl,
Half a ton of loveliness and every bit her own.”
Ee, she were a big ‘un, with accent on the big,
And all the men with walking sticks went giving her a dig.
Oh, she was classy, talk about a chassis,
So blown up with air I do declare.
Everything were champion, until some silly clown,
Stabbed her with a pin, said the showman with a frown
“All hands to the pumps lads, my vessel’s going down.”
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.
“Oh, roll up, roll up, see the House of Mysteries,
Ladies, pay a tanner to be tickled in the dark.”
In went the lads, just to take a peep,
The showman pulled a lever and they landed in a heap.
Oh, down he shot ’em, straight to the bottom,
Frills and bows was everywhere to see.
There weas shouting, screaming, everything was rife,
I saw some funny things I’ve never seen in all my life,
I saw some funny things I’ve never seen upon the wife,
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.
“Oh, roll up, roll up, come and see the mermaid,
See the lovely lady, half a woman, half a fish.”
In went the lads, to see it were no swank,
And little Tommy Higgins put some whisky in the tank.
Oh, she got frisky, swimming in the whisky,
And when she come up for air,
She bowed to the audience, gave her tail a swish,
Her tail it came off and she really looked delish,
She said, “What do you fancy lads, a bit of meat, or fish?”
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.
“Oh, roll up, roll up, see the tattooed lady,
See the lovely lady with the pictures on her skin.”
In went the lads and they began to cheer,
For tattooed on her skin was all the towns of Lancashire.
There was Adstall Bottom, Manchester City,
The town hall was standing in the square.
There was Oldham, Bolton, Ashton-under-Lyne,
Coal pit up at Bardsley was looking mighty fine,
When someone shouted, “Daddy, don’t go down the mine!”
At the Rawtenstall Annual Fair.
They don’t write them like that anymore!
We were support, in the main marque, for, the live band.
Lovely day – decided to get there early afternoon and have a wander round the attractions.
Quite a site -main marque like a circus tent, beer tents, open market and a fair with stalls and rides.
I had long hair, hipster flares and a vest with a shiny star on the front – my stage gear! Steve looked like Cliff Richard in a sky-blue jacket.
We stood out like sore thumbs.
Which might account for the fact that we got chatting with,probably the two most attractive girls on site – there weren’t many entries.
Had a drink with them – when they realised we were a ‘turn’ in the main tent, we couldn’t get rid of them- so arranged to see them in the main tent that evening, they could sit behind the decks. Didn’t seem a hardship for us anyway.
We chill out a bit – and then set up in the main tent – get in early but no choice about where – stage maybe a metre high – for the band – we are ground level next to it – no problem, we have had worse.
just about set up and the band arrive – they seemed friendly enough. Some bands heading the bill – even in a tent in Rawtenstall – can get a bit above their station. We sort out running times with them easy enough – basically by going along with whatever they said.
Turns out that they are heavy metal – it’s Rawtenstall – set your watch back 30 years.
They are setting their own kit up – so we are not talking Led Zeppelin!
Assuming that they would stop anybody stealing our gear – we had another wander – I won two cuddly toys – only cost me £3 each.
back to the tent – mainly to protect the equipment while it was filling up.
Girls arrive, get them sorted behind the decks. They seem very impressed with the cuddly toys.
Steve kicks off the disco (our opening track – ‘Wipe-out’ (try it on You Tube – early sixties from a band – get this – the SURFARIS – I loved the sixties – my teenage years) and the tent livens up.
Teddy boys
We note – a high number of young lads in small gangs with no girls, including what appear to be a large contingent of – what could only be referred to as Teddy boys.
For younger readers – teddy boys or Teds were a tribe of young men which, were so called because they wore pseudo Edwardian style long jackets with velvet collars and tight trousers with ‘brothel creeper loafers.
Edward being reduced to Ted.
- They competed i.e. fought, with Mods – fashion victims – Ben Sherman shirts and Vespa scooters) – but the ‘Mod Father, – Paul Weller, can wear what he likes – he still walks on water.
Give a go to – ‘The Singular Hits of the Style Council’ my number three album of all time. and they both fought with –
the Skin Heads – self-explanatory and the Greasers – all black leather and big motor bikes – sometimes referred to as Rockers.
The one thing they had in common was their attraction to street fighting in large numbers.
Spoilt quite a few family holidays on the beaches of the south coast.
Band come on and crowd get a bit boisterous- head banging by the stage and the lead guitar decides to try to knock a hole in the tent above his head and the lead singer thinks he’s Roger Daltrey and starts swinging the mike in circles long enough to clear the front row of the crowd.
We were both aware that the atmosphere was changing – The bar looks about ten deep.
I came up to the decks rather than sit with the girls
Band comes off for a break – and it settles a bit –we are now playing ‘calm down’ tracks – but then we get a visit from two of the Teds.
Him ‘what are you doing messing with our girls’ (I have edited the expletives)
‘Me – They just wanted to sit at the back, it’s all right by us, mate’
‘Him – I’m not your mate, and they are our girls’.
Me – OK we’ll ask them to go.
I knew when not to argue!
As they turned and walked away, I heard one of them say – loud enough for me to hear – ‘I hate f***ing hippies’
I knew I was overdressed.
We have a word with the girls – sorry you’ve got to go!
‘They won’t do anything – they’re all talk.’
Sorry – we’ve got some expensive gear here – you’ll have to go – it was nice meeting you.
Eventually they move on. I let them keep the cuddly toys.
Not exactly a solution – the next Ted to visit seems relatively harmless i.e. he is not very big. Until he pulls a Monkeywrench out of his inside pocket and says, smacking the wrench on his hand – ‘Don’t worry boys – we won’t damage the equipment’.
Then he is off circulating round the tent, having brief chats with his mates and gesturing in our direction.
Security
Time for action – I go looking for security – there’s one by the stage, thankfully with a bit of cover. who radios his boss who eventually visits us.
Him -‘Have you actually been threatened?
Me Yes – with a Monkeywrench.
Him -How did he get in with that?
Me -‘Isn’t that a question for you.? and added –
He’s probably not the only one, is he?
Now I have his attention – He seems to accept he has a problem.
Him ‘Ok I’ll get a police presence
A Solution?
Eventually two police uniforms arrive – average age late 50s, walk around the edge of the floor area, just looking – like coiled springs! and leave! Don’t even speak to us. Never saw the head of security again
We have a plan
Had a word with the band – if it kicked off, their kit was at risk as well.
lead singer says he will try to get some of them on stage – swinging the mike – Steve can do the same. Best we have got,
The bad boys had obviously been part of the pack at the bar and at least looking less threatening – they can’t do much damage if they can’t stand up! and the band comes back on – crowd head banging again – two nut each other.
Singer does grab one stood up and gets him on stage and shows him how to twirl the mike – with a short lead -Lad looks very happy – even tries singing.
Steve – out in front of the decks doing his own twirling – he is a bit of a showman. we are now getting a relatively polite queue to try it – luckily the mike survived and so did we.
Band finished – bar closed, and we put on ‘The last Waltz’ – all the energy gone, and everyone staggers out.
It’s tough at the bottom!
Back to our studies in one piece.
Hilarious! That song is all kinds of wrong… but the event deserves its own tv show.