Pub Etiquette
Was brought up in the centre of Birkenhead – where there were six or eight pubs within a maximum – ten minutes’ walk from where we lived – and I had a dad who was well known in all of them – and, to my surprise, was very popular in all of them. He wasn’t that popular with me and my sister at home – particularly checking his pools – requiring perfect silence – though he was out most evenings.
He did instruct me. From early age, on the vital issue of ‘pub etiquette’ and I got on the spot tuition, when old enough to have a drink in a pub – i.e. 16, in Birkenhead – if your dad was Jimmy,
I became an expert the whole range of subtle nuances of – ‘standing your corner’.
In fact, I gave free tuition to college colleagues, in the pub, who needed it – notably a number of southerners who moved north for work some struggled with the cultural changes – with one exception – my mate- and still is – Eve. She was born and brought up in Kent – but was married to Roy – a great lad, from Kirkby – and she was already educated.
N.B. An essential piece of knowledge –
A woman born to the east of the river Medway – is
‘A Maid of Kent’.
One born to the west of the river is –
‘A Kentish Maid’
You will thank me for that – when it comes up in a quiz.
I can’t actually remember what Eve was!
My most difficult student was Graham – he is now back on the south coast – may get to read this.
It wasn’t that – he didn’t get it – he just got it ‘with knobs on.’
The basics –
In a group of men drinking – it was necessary to –
‘stand your corner i.e., the ‘round of drinks – circulated in a repeated order – it was very unusual for each to just buy their own drinks – unless they said that was the case at the start i.e. “I’ll stay on my own’ – perfectly acceptable – maybe because they were only stopping for a couple of drinks or were out of work and short of cash – a possible nuance, in that case – was that some round buyers would include them in their round – on the grounds that they were in work and the chap out of work – often referred to as ‘on the dole’,i.e. just getting unemployment benefit and, often, they were relatively popular and/or did the same when they were working.
It was an individual’s responsibility to recognise when it was their turn – but, inevitably – if one person was identified as missing their round regularly e.g. would coincidentally go to the toilet just before their turn – then it would be recognised – probably by the whole group – anf if a repeated practice, would ‘have their card marked’ and even be excluded from ‘the company’.
One of the reasons, I got on well with my father in law, Ernie – was that he was a stickler for pub rules – and I was well educated.
I wrote the eulogy for his funeral and included –‘He always stood his round – and always knew who hadn’t’.
Back to my college colleague, Graham – a newcomer to the whole idea. The only problem was that he went from just buying his own drink to trying to buy every round – which is nearly as bad as not buying a round at all.
We worked out a system of signals to give him his cue.
For those who think this is a male -centric view – yes, it is – mainly because I have no idea what rules a group of women in a pub, would adopt. By definition – if I was in the group – it would change the culture.
There is, however a very subtle, somewhat advanced, interpretation concerning a mixed sex drinking group – for example a number of male – female partner couples.
First – it’s still the men who go to the bar – in the correct order, of course.
The subtlety being – if a female partner had a small beer when her partner was buying the round but then had a large gin & tonic when another male was buying – that would be noticed – and if repeated would probably cause words to be exchanged.
Who would have thought that a pint in a pub could be so complicated – still – I’ll continue to make the effort.