Jimanory No.2
A Christmas Story
The Scene:
Santa’s Grotto – ground floor of a town centre department store – nicely decorated to look like a silvery cave with carols echoing around and Santa himself – on a chair like a throne in full costume – with lots of padding – and two costumed elf helpers.
All three – ‘resting’ actors – who missed out on pantomime work that year – I guess.
I’m in the queue with my ten-year-old son – who thinks it’s all magical. I’m wondering how long this will take.
Eventually the man and boy – similar age to mine – are front of the queue and approaching Santa.
Young lad lifted onto Santa’s knee and a few Ho – Ho – Ho’s – lad was identified as Harry – it was the late 90’s and J.K.R Rowland’s had just started the journey to being a multi – billionaire.
Then it got more interesting –
Santa says to Harry – ‘So, Harry, what would you like for Christmas?
Harry doesn’t hesitate – he says, quite loudly – “I want to be a grown up”.
Not the usual gift request – I imagine – and Santa did seem to have a think for a few seconds.
I can only guess that – Santa had, had, a long day – it was late afternoon – and I imagine, it followed a few other long days’ work and I knew they did evening sessions as well.
I refer to those considerations – as mitigating circumstances – partially justifying his eventual response.
Which was:
He leaned forward –right into the face of Harry and ripped his Santa hat and beard off – throwing them to the ground, and –
shouting loudly, said –
“No problem –
I can do that for you now -’
and then right into Harry’s face …
“I’M NOT REAL!!”
The place cleared quite quickly – including his elves – who, I guess were heading for the Job Centre,
I got my money back and. I caught up with Harry’s dad, utside of the store
Asked how Harry was – reply “Oh he seems not bothered – he said – it was just somebody in Santa’s clothes” – so I just gave him a slap”.
I said – “What – you slapped Harry?
‘” Oh. no – I slapped Santa – he was totally – ‘out of order’.”
In the Local Papers That Night – headlines –
“Santa Attacked by a Parent, and now facing child abuse charges”
I followed the case – the abuse charges were put aside – as they were not legally defined as abuse – and a sacked Santa had been punished enough!
That’s what you call – ‘The Spirit of Christmas’ eh?